Cash in a Flash--Or Not
by tvrox
Summary: Joey wins the lottery. When the girls go to the bank to cash the check, the happiness takes a turn for the worse. What will happen? R/R please!


Cash in a Flash-or Not!  
  
By Margaret (Tvrox)  
  
A/N: This fic takes place in the fourth season, somewhere around Rock The Cradle, which is the episode in which we find out about Michelle's imaginary friend, Glen.  
  
Cash in a Flash-or Not!  
  
1 Teaser  
  
1.1 We find Michelle in her room, sitting at a little table with Piggy. There is one empty chair.  
  
Michelle: Glen, Piggy, welcome to my tea party. (Looks at empty chair) You're right, Glen, we need food. Don't move now, I'll be right back.  
  
Michelle creeps down to the kitchen with a sly smile. She grabs three cookies and begins to run upstairs. Jesse walks into the kitchen, singing Elvis' song 'Hound Dog'.  
  
Michelle: That was good, Uncle Jesse. I'm going now.  
  
Jesse (In an Elvis voice): Thank you. Thank you very much…Freeze, Munchkin! Why don't I like the sound of that 'I'm going now?' (Sees cookies) Michelle, why did you take three cookies?  
  
Michelle: Uh-oh!  
  
Jesse: Now, Michelle. You know it's too close to dinner for sweets, and even if it wasn't dinnertime, you could still only have one cookie.  
  
Michelle: Don't have a cow! I took three because Glen needs one and Piggy needs one.  
  
Jesse: Michelle, Glen is just in your imagination and Piggy is a stuffed animal. No matter how real they seem to you, they will never be able to eat. So how about you return those cookies, hunh?  
  
Michelle: Okay, Uncle Jesse.  
  
Jesse walks out the back door. We hear a motorcycle start, and then silence. Michelle, still holding three cookies, runs up the stairs, grinning.  
  
1.1.1  
  
Michelle: Yes!  
  
-------------THEME SONG------------------  
  
We find everyone but Joey eating dinner at the table.  
  
Danny: So, how was everyone's day?  
  
Michelle: Mine was great! I taught Comet a trick. Watch! Comet, boy, roll over.  
  
Michelle holds up a little piece of bread. Comet sits down innocently not knowing that this is not what Michelle meant.  
  
Becky: I had a good day, too, though it wasn't terribly eventful.  
  
DJ: I had a great day, because Stephanie wasn't there, so I could live a normal life without her intrusions.  
  
Stephanie: How Rude! Anyway, my day stank, because I went over to a friend's house to work on a project that is going nowhere, and when I got home, I couldn't go in our room, because DJ wouldn't let me.  
  
Jesse: I had a bad hair day, which ruined my day entirely.  
  
At this moment Joey walks in.  
  
Joey: Hey, guys! I got a lottery ticket. You know, Cash in a Flash? Anyway, my numbers are 23, 48, 3, 7, and 13.  
  
Jesse: That's great, Joseph, but do you think you'll actually win?  
  
Danny: Yeah, don't get your hopes up.  
  
Joey: I don't know, guys, but I just did it for fun.  
  
1.2 The next morning…  
  
Danny: DJ, Steph, Michelle, wake up! It's time for school!  
  
DJ (from upstairs): Come on Dad, you know it's Saturday!  
  
Danny: Right. Sorry, I'm very worried. Aunt Becky and I have no guests for Wake Up, San Francisco for all of next week.  
  
Stephanie (coming downstairs): Aw, Dad, that's a bummer.  
  
DJ (also coming downstairs): That stinks!  
  
Michelle (after running downstairs, she hugs Danny): Poor Daddy.  
  
Danny: Thank you, girls, for being so sympathetic.  
  
Michelle: Daddy, what does "simpthetic" mean?  
  
DJ: Well sympathetic means when someone is sad, you're nice to them.  
  
Michelle: That's me! I'm nice!  
  
Danny: Well, I've got to go. I'm going out for coffee to talk about the show with Becky.  
  
Danny: Come on, Beck! Let's go!  
  
Becky (walks in from the kitchen): Ready when you are.  
  
Michelle: Bye, bye, Daddy!  
  
Steph: Catch you later!  
  
DJ: Bye!  
  
Danny and Becky walk out the door. Jesse and Joey walk in.  
  
Joey: Guess what, girls? There's a Popeye sale at Toy Barn today only! I'm going to go!  
  
Jesse: I'm going with him. There's also an Elvis collectibles sale!  
  
DJ: Bye!  
  
Joey: Be good!  
  
Michelle: We will. You know how good we are. Daddy says I'm simpetic, or something like that.  
  
Jesse: You are, Michelle, but we have to go.  
  
Joey: Bye!  
  
Stephanie: Bye!  
  
At the coffee shop…  
  
Danny: Beck, we've got to find guests for the show.  
  
Becky: How about Joey?  
  
Danny: Why? What did he do to become famous?  
  
Becky: He's Ranger Joe.  
  
Danny: Great idea, Beck!  
  
Back at home…  
  
Stephanie: What should we do?  
  
Michelle: Let's play Candy Land  
  
The three girls play Candy Land. Cards are arranged so that Michelle wins, but lines are improvised during the game.  
  
Michelle: I won!  
  
DJ: Of course you won, Michelle.  
  
Stephanie: You're the best at Candy Land.  
  
Meanwhile, at the Toy Sale…  
  
Joey is waiting outside with a brown bag that says Toy Barn. Danny and Becky walk up to him.  
  
Danny: Joey, will you be our guest on Wake Up, San Francisco?  
  
Joey: Well, I'd just love to!  
  
Becky: Great! Then it's settled.  
  
Jesse enters.  
  
Jesse: What is going on here?  
  
Becky: Joey has agreed to be our guest on Wake Up, San Francisco.  
  
Jesse: How kind of him. What ever happened to your dear husband Jesse, hunh?  
  
Becky: Well, Jess, you're not exactly famous  
  
The doorbell rings. Michelle, Stephanie and DJ run into the living room (only in time to say their lines.)  
  
Michelle: I'll get it!  
  
Stephanie: No, I will!  
  
Michelle: I will!  
  
Stephanie: I will!  
  
DJ: To save time, I'll get it.  
  
Stephanie: Now look what you did, Michelle! If you could just mind your own business, at least one of us could have—  
  
DJ opens the door. A man wearing a suit holds up a giant check for 1,000 dollars made out to Joey.  
  
Lottery Man: Hello, is this the home of Mr. Joseph Gladstone? I have a check for him.  
  
DJ: Yes this is his home, but he's not here right now.  
  
Michelle: Joey won? Yay!  
  
Stephanie: Joey's supposed to cash that thing (points at check)??? He won't even be able to fit it in his car!  
  
DJ: Sssshhhh, Stephanie!  
  
Lottery Man: Are you his daughters?  
  
Michelle: My name is Michelle Elizabeth Tanner, and I'm five years old. My address is 1882 Gerard Street and my phone number is 5—  
  
DJ: No, we're friends of his.  
  
Stephanie: Actually, we're his best friends daughters, but why nitpick?  
  
Michelle: --55-2424.  
  
Lottery Man: What a cute little girl. Anyway, could you be so kind as to give him this? (Hands Stephanie a regular looking check)  
  
Stephanie: Sure!  
  
Lottery Man leaves, taking the giant check (which was just a prop) with him.  
  
Stephanie: Hey, Deej, let's take the check to the bank and cash it for Joey.  
  
DJ: I don't know, Steph…  
  
Stephanie: Aw, come on.  
  
DJ: OK, I'll get your coats.  
  
DJ leaves to get coats.  
  
Michelle: Stephie, what is that?  
  
Stephanie: It's a check.  
  
Michelle: What's a check?  
  
Stephanie: It's a kind of money.  
  
Michelle: Doesn't look like money to me.  
  
Stephanie: Well, it is.  
  
DJ returns, puts the check in her pocket, and hands Stephanie + Michelle their coats.  
  
DJ: Ready, guys?  
  
The three girls walk out the door. The camera shifts and we see them walking down the sidewalk silently. We see the check fall out of DJ's pocket, which nobody notices but Michelle, who makes a scared face. A breeze comes and blows the check away.  
  
Michelle: Uh-oh.  
  
Stephanie: What is it, Michelle?  
  
Michelle: I know something you don't know.  
  
Stephanie: What, Michelle?  
  
Michelle: DJ dropped some money.  
  
DJ, who has been lost in thought, whirls around.  
  
DJ: What money? I didn't bring money.  
  
Michelle: Yes, you did, you brought Joey's money.  
  
Stephanie: Joey's money? Oh, I get it. This is bad, all right. I told her a check was a kind of money. That's the money she means.  
  
DJ: Great. Steph, I told you cashing this check was a bad idea.  
  
Stephanie: Don't blame me; blame Michelle. She's the one who failed to tell us that the thing was lost in time.  
  
DJ: I will not blame Michelle. She's just a little kid and she didn't know better.  
  
Michelle: I'm a big girl.  
  
DJ: Michelle, do you want to be punished?  
  
Michelle: (Salutes like a soldier) No, SIR!  
  
DJ: Then just pretend you are little for a while; we all know you are big.  
  
Michelle: (Salutes again) Yes, SIR!  
  
DJ: Now that that's over with, let's not panic. We'll just have to tell Joey a little fiblet.  
  
Stephanie: Oh, no. Not another 'fiblet'. The last time we told a fiblet was when Gibbler (makes a face) snuck us into that movie. We got in BIG trouble!  
  
DJ: Come on, this is different. Plus, if we don't lie, we'll all three of us get Dad talk number six, "A Person's Property is His Own Property." Then again, if we do, we'll probably get number thirteen, "The Top Ten Reasons Why Lying is Bad."  
  
Stephanie: I remember that one. And, of course, Michelle will get number forty-nine, "Why You Should Be Punished Even Though It Wasn't Your Idea."  
  
Michelle: How do you guys remember all those numbers and names?  
  
DJ: Believe me, Michelle. By the time you're my age, you'll have had so many talks it'll be hard not to remember all this.  
  
Stephanie: You can say that again.  
  
DJ: Anyway, this will be much simpler than the whole diagonally cut bologna and ding-dong thing. All we have to do is not tell Joey that we ever had the check. If he doesn't ever find out that he won, he'll have no reason to be mad at us for losing the check, because he won't know that it even existed.  
  
Stephanie: I guess that sounds like a good plan.  
  
Michelle: I'd like the plan if I knew what it was.  
  
Stephanie: Deej, I know what she means. I, for one, understand it, but I wouldn't if I was five. Go easy on the little one.  
  
Michelle: I am NOT little. I'm a bi-  
  
DJ: Remember Michelle, you're pretending.  
  
Michelle: Right. (To herself) I am little, I am little, I am LITTLE.  
  
DJ: Now, let's go home.  
  
The girls walk home. The scene changes and the three are playing Candy Land in the living room.  
  
Michelle: I won! That's the fifth time today!  
  
DJ and Stephanie look at each other as if to say, "That's because we let you win." Joey walks in the door.  
  
Joey: Hi, Girls! Did the Lottery Man by any chance come buy to tell me I've won?  
  
DJ: No, and we've been here all morning.  
  
Michelle: No, that's not true, we went out.  
  
Steph: Oh, yes, that's right. I took Michelle to the park. We had a great time, (through clenched teeth) didn't we Michelle?  
  
Michelle: (Starts to say that they didn't go to the park) We di-id.  
  
Joey: Whatever. I guess Jess and Danny were right. Buying a lottery ticket was a waste.  
  
Kimmy comes in holding the check at this moment. The check is a bit dirty, but otherwise fine.  
  
Kimmy: Hey, guys! Did you know that Joey won $1,000?  
  
The three girls look at each other sadly.  
  
Joey: Girls, is there something you haven't told me?  
  
Stephanie: Well, the lottery man did come, and he gave us the check. He thought we were your daughters, but I guess that's not the point. I decided it would be good if we cashed the check for you, so the three of us left for the bank. Take it, Michelle.  
  
Michelle: On the way to the bank, the check fell out of DJ's pocket, and she got really worried and said we would have to tell a 'fibbet', or something like that. Anyway, she said that we wouldn't tell you that we had gotten the check-  
  
DJ: -Which was very wrong of me. I told the girls not to say anything, and I brought them home. I thought we wouldn't get in trouble-  
  
Stephanie: And we wouldn't have, if it wasn't for Kimmy. (Makes a face).  
  
Joey: Now, girls. I'm not your dad, so I can't quite give you a dad talk, but I can ask you this. When you did what you did, did you know it was wrong?  
  
DJ: I guess so.  
  
Stephanie: Yes. I learned my lesson from the last 'fiblet'.  
  
Michelle: It wasn't my idea to lie.  
  
Joey: But the bad thing is that you agreed to it.  
  
Stephanie: Wow, you're as good as Dad. You know how to make us feel guilty at the same time you're telling us what's right.  
  
Joey: Now, I'm sure your dad would be very harsh with you if he knew about this, so I will be, too. DJ and Stephanie, you are grounded for the next week. Michelle, each day after school for the whole week, I want you to go to your room first thing and think about what you did for one hour.  
  
Stephanie: But we found the money.  
  
Joey: That doesn't matter as much as the fact that you lied to me. Now all of you-off to your rooms.  
  
DJ: Joey? Please don't tell Dad-he'll be even madder than you were. We'll be really good about our punishments if you promise not to tell him.  
  
Joey: All right, girls. I know how you're dad is. And I'm glad you confessed to me sometime.  
  
Michelle: That's because we're good girls.  
  
Joey: Yes, you are. Very good girls.  
  
Kimmy: Hey, break it up over there, I'm going to throw up!  
  
Joey, DJ, Stephanie, and Michelle: KIMMY!  
  
Everyone chases Kimmy around the room as the music begins and the credits start.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
So, that's my fic! I don't usually write in script form, but this is old. So, since there are no chapters, REVIEW! Thanks and bye bye! 


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